we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
