thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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