Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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