i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
