The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
