ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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