How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
