please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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