My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
