I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
