Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
