if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
