my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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