I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
