No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
