I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
