so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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