Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
