it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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