Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
