All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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