I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
