He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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