Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
