it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize