I didn't shave. On purpose
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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