i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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