# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
