I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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