yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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