Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
