I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
