I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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