I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
