We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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