did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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