go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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