i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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