Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
