I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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