i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
