He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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