she looked like the before picture.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
