i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize