So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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