I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
