they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
