I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
