I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
