I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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