I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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